That’s a thing right? I keep seeing that all over facebook, and the same memes about how it’s about to be May. I’m really bad at catching references of any kind. My boyfriend quotes movies and I get totally lost as to what he’s referencing.
Anyway! I’m really excited about a new month, new beginning. April was a ROUGH month. I like to describe it as a second March. It was gray, cold and rainy. It made me moody and grumpy. It was an overall terrible month. There were snippets of good. Like when I got to go visit my boyfriend and we spent his day off eating brunch in Cape May and walking along the Jersey Shore, but that’s pretty much my only truly happy memory from April.
At least April left us nicely. I was able to get outside for a bit in the late afternoon/early evening hours on Sunday and hike around one of our local parks. It felt so good to get out, be surrounded by trees and walk next to a river. Those are the kinds of things that soothe my soul.
I can tell you I definitely want May to be different than April.
I think part of the reason April was so hard was the attitude I chose to have. I chose to be grumpy most of the time. I chose to focus on the negative. I chose to get caught up in the patients cussing me out. I chose to be grumpy every time I came to work. I chose to take the attitude of “I don’t want to be here and I don’t want to do this”. Which what that really boils down to is “I don’t wanna stay up all night and I wanna sleep at night life a normal person”.
Regardless, in reflection, I’ve realized I made myself miserable. I made myself miserable in the attitude I chose to have towards the things I have to do – like go to work. And I see now, how that negative attitude affected my eating choices, my exercise, my motivation. This might sound cliche but the negativity I was creating and choosing to embrace perseverated through all aspects of my life.
For May, I’m going to practice positivity. And I’m going to practice gratitude. I wrote the other day about how May was a new month and a great time for new beginnings. I threw out a couple of ideas for ways to change and grow in the month May. I also promised to share what I will be doing for this month.
A lot of this plan is really getting back into my good habits that I fell out of with my grumpiness in April and bringing back old, good habits. I realized that when I graduated and transitioned into normal adult life I went into survival mode, and as I’ve become more comfortable in my role as nurse I’m trying to take time to find and explore other things that interest me.
- write down 5 things each day that I’m grateful for (bringing back an old habit)
- spend 5 – 10 mins each more journaling and reading for self-growth (bringing back an old habit)
- exercise 3-4 days a week (bringing back an old habit)
- go to a park at least once a week
My plan is really rather simple, but they’re all important things. Number 1 and 2 can be lumped together in the same 15 mins period. I used to have such a good morning routine and I fell to telling myself I can’t have a morning routine when I work night shift. This isn’t true. I just have to adjust what time morning is for me.
I’ve got 2 of my 4 days of exercise in and I already feel better. I was really good at this in the beginning of this year but fell off the horse sometime in late March/April and never really got back on. SO we’re getting back on the horse.
Nature soothes my soul and makes me happy. I’m already sorely lacking in Vit D from night shift and lack of sunshine, so making this a priority is going to be a game changer for me, I’m pretty sure.
What are ways you are going to grow this month? How do you want to change? How do you want to better your life and better care for yourself?