I have found writing about this week’s chapter more challenging than previous chapters. Usually when I’m reading it I have a way that I can relate and a story I want to share. And this chapter that didn’t happen.
I was struck by what Brown was saying about feedback. She talks about how our culture is more focused on meeting metrics that treating people like people. She talks about how kids are evaluated on grades and standardized tests. People are evaluated in their jobs in similar ways.
I know when I had my annual review I had to fill out some stuff that was scaled. I had to rate myself on different parameters based on this scale. The majority of my review was going over this scale.
But at the end my manager talked about me, and my work as a nurse. He talked about how I was doing and made me feel like more than just a number. At the end of the review he asked if there was anything our management team could do to better support the staff. I believe they asked everybody this question. And something we started recently was doing “shoutouts” in shift briefing. Basically a little way to honor our coworkers for the hard work we do and to help start our shift on a positive note.
Brown talks about how when we don’t feel supported in our work place and the prevalent attitude is shame and blame people will disengage in order to protect themselves.
Shame can only rise so far in any system before people disengage to protect themselves. When we’re disengaged, we don’t show up, we don’t contribute, and we stop caring.
I think most of us are in some sort of leadership position in some capacity in our lives. Whether you’re a manager, or you write a blog, you’re a parent, a teacher, a mentor. I’m sure that in some capacity you are leader and people look up to you and seek you out. That being said, I think the biggest piece of this chapter is how to do you lead? Are you teaching using shame and blame or are you giving open space to share problems and work with your team to problem solve? Are you giving positive feedback and opportunity for transformation or are you crushing the people who look up to you?
Reflect on the way you live and you lead in your life. Think about the way your manager may treat you. How are ways you can engage more, lead better and be led better? How are you going to dare greatly this week?