The Story I’m Living

Every day I learn something new. Whether that something new is about myself, about someone else, about being a nurse, or otherwise. I learn something new.

When I graduated nursing school I was so glad to be done with school and formal learning. But the cool part is I still learn something every day. I’ve found myself reading research articles for fun!

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*gasp! I know, completely unheard of.

But it’s true. Learning is so much more fun when you get to choose what you’re learning about.

Learning to navigate a long distance relationship

Learning to navigate night shift

Learning to navigate people of all kinds – mean, kind, angry, nasty, gentle, sweet, grief-stricken, overwhelmed, scared – whatever it may be, I’ve seen it.

The story I’m living is one where I have tools in my toolbox, I just have to remember to pull them out.

It’s a simple life, a beautiful life, a challenging life. And most of all, it’s a life I love living. Sometimes I feel stuck, and like I’m waiting for what’s to come next. But at the same time, I am striving to embrace the time I have left in Ohio.

986c2de92af8bb5be23d1aac38713c43The more I grow through this life, the more I learn that change is good. Change is also inevitable.

I used to get sad when I would learn people are leaving. Or a new couple started dating or got engaged. Maybe bittersweet would be a better word. I would be excited for the person and the exciting changes in their life, but sad at the same time.

But as time goes on, I’m learning, embracing and accepting that change is good, and it is inevitable. I still think my emotional response to change is bittersweet. I’m excited for where people are going but sad that things have to change.

I think part of my struggle with change is I always felt like it was the lives of my friends that were changing, yet mine stayed the same.

My best friend got engaged and moved to Texas for a year all in the same week.
My other college bestie moved to Illinois and met her husband out there.
And while all this was happening I was “just still in school”. My life felt steady and unchanging. And I was always so frustrated.

But now, I’m the one looking at the changes to come. I’m the one going through the changes now. My friends have changes too. New babies, new jobs, engagements, and the like.
I’m the one who is going to be moving out of state, likely within the next year. I get really excited thinking about it. I’ll get to be in the same place as the man I love. I will have a new city to explore. I’ll have an opportunity for new job experiences. I’ll meet new people, and make new friends. A part of me is sad to leave the city that has formed me. I’ll have to find a new staufs, which is known as my “spot”. I’ll be sad my parents won’t be an hours drive away, and my best friends aren’t a 30 mins drive away. But a part of me thinks it’s time.

That time of steadiness through college, where I felt frustrated because it felt like all my friends were moving forward with their life were years where I needed my life to be steady.

But what I’m learning is there are always going to be changes. New relationships, new babies, new jobs. A cancer diagnosis. A death. We’re all constantly evolving and life will change around us whether or not we accept that it’s happening. And those times that we feel stagnant, those are times to cherish too. Those are the little bits of life Those are the moments to feel like you have your feet under you.  

 

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