Change + Transformation

I think that as I go through growth I back away from blogging, and that as the growth comes closer to completion I am compelled to share. That, and Instagram is a great place to really share my snippets of inspiration.

That being said – as the year is winding down I have been finding myself reflecting quite a bit. reflecting on the growth, the change + transformation I have undergone. It’s really rather powerful to take time to reflect. You should try it some time.

My biggest transformation has occurred over the last 8 weeks. I reached out to a coworker who always seemed to be posting about her workout + progress, but I’d also noticed a change in her mindset + attitude. It was very obvious that it was so much more than physical fitness to her and I wanted in.

img_0768A month ago my boyfriend left for a military training and I have been limited to letters as our main means of communication. It has been way harder than I thought it would be, but choosing to use this time as my own opportunity for growth has made it so much easier. In September I committed to showing up for myself every day. I committed to daily soulitude (as we call it). I committed to good nutrition. I committed to consistent workouts.

Yesterday my coach asked me for 3 wins. She has done this throughout the challenge, but what came to mind yesterday really struck me. It home just how good this group has been for me.

img_0139My Wins:
1. Confidence. I have seen my confidence grow just leaps and bounds since starting this challenge

2. Stability. I feel so much more stable emotionally than I have maybe ever. Developing my morning routine has been a GAME CHANGER

3. Physical fitness. This is the most consistent I’ve worked out since training for a half marathon 3 years ago and it’s totally paying off. I look healthier. I feel healthier and people who I only see every so often are really starting to notice.

img_0767This group has created an opportunity for me to create a morning routine. I’ve always dreamed of having a morning routine (I knew how important it was) but often struggled with the waxing and waning schedule of nursing school, and now adult life working as a nurse. I have been able to develop a structure, a routine, something I do every morning when I wake up, no matter what time of day I might be waking up. It has given me the stability I need. It has allowed me to feel more stable emotionally than I have ever felt. Mind you, there are still plenty of days that I feel like my emotions are all over the place.

I also want to talk a bit about confidence. For years I’ve struggled with confidence. I would shy away, hide behind shadows. I’d hide behind creating a person based on who and what other people wanted me to be because it was more important to me that I pleased these people rather than actually lived a genuine and authentic life.  I remember a conversation with my dad where he talked about me being this confident little girl at piano recital going up to play with such confidence despite the fact that I was absolutely terrible (I had no idea how terrible I was).

The first time I walked into my yoga studio (a place I now consider home), I was petrified. I was so scared to try something new. But thanks to my best friend I showed up, tried something new, and fell in love with it. Yesterday I went to a boxing class for the first time. I was definitely a little nervous and had a little anxiety going in, but in the end, it was really fun. A year ago I would have bailed on going to that boxing class. Instead, I walked out confident and be encouraged by the instructor that it was obvious I had a solid foundation with exercise. Talk about a win!

img_0757What I’m trying to say, is over the last 8 weeks I’ve really seen myself flourish. Growing in confidence, stepping outside of my comfort zone and soaring through this life. I find myself having more energy, more energy, and an overall more positive attitude. I still have bad days. Heck, today was a bit of a bad day, but it has become ingrained in me to show up for myself, so that is exactly what I did. By the end of the day, I was feeling a lot better and settled on the reality that I needed a day like today to rest + restore. I needed a day to read a little more, to reflect a little more, and to love myself a little extra.

Change + transformation is at your fingertips. You have to decide that you want the change, that you want the goal more than you want your excuses.

Jan 2018-Nov 2018

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